I have a problem with lists. I write everything down in accordance with my Type-A personality. Copy paper, notepads, napkins, old envelopes, and even smug bills that I just feel like defacing...nothing is safe from my scribblings of meals, groceries, errands, bills to pay, rooms to clean, etc.
My scraps of paper are strewn from my desk to the kitchen, to my van and back again. They often hide from me in said places and I end up creating duplicates. Feeding the madness.
The startling number or inability to keep up with them is not my problem, however.
At the end of the day, when I look at my list and realize I've only crossed off half of my to-do items, the perfectionist in me gets ugly.
She doubts my calling, challenges my abilities, and makes me feel low. She's ruthless. Above all, she's grace-less.
My One Word for 2015 is Grace. It's terrifying. And it has already shown up in my lists.
Upon writing my to-do list last week, the Father whispered to my heart,
"Will you make room for me? If a sick friend needs groceries at home, will you run for them and forget your own for a day? If I call you to write, will you leave the germs to overrun that bathroom for another day? When your children so desperately need extra doses of you, will you make that phone call, pay that bill, send that RSVP, or fold those clothes another day?"
So, I re-wrote my list. I left room. I split the realistic from the not-probable. I included a reminder that my day belongs to my Heavenly Father and He shall do what He pleases with it. I also included a reminder that I am not all-powerful, invincible, or faster than the speed of light. A reminder that God has not called me to be super mom, but a sanctified mom.
Grace. Sovereignty. Right there on my To-do list.
*I made a few scraps of paper for you too. Just in case you're like me. Print them out and use them as a reminder of Grace and Sovereignty. Love you friend.*
(This last one was inspired by Lysa TerKeurst's latest book The Best Yes.)