Monday, February 15, 2016

I Can't Be A Stay-At-Home Mom Any Longer

(Photo credit to: Missy Loves Jerry Photography)

I can't be a Stay-At-Home mom any longer. In fact, I'm not sure I've ever been one.

Let me explain.

During a typical week, I chauffeur my Kindergartner to and from his elementary school. My three-year-old twins keep me company while I...

Plan a weeks worth of meals for a circus
Hunt, snag, and pay for groceries
Dodge the judgement when I pay my water bill late...again...
Manage the mountains (Laundry, dishes, junk mail)
Mop hog poop off our mudroom floor
Dry the thousand tears of two drama queens
Organize closets that remind me of Narnia
Well the list never actually ends...

There is an emotional charge attached to the question we all know and love as a Stay-At-Home mom.

So, but really, what do you do all day?

Been there.

Addressed that.

Not the point.

There is something else that absolutely consumes me. It gets me up early and keeps me up late. It causes me to hit my knees in tears and literally dance for pure joy.

It's my ministry. And it consumes so much of me I can no longer look at it as a side-thing I'm into.

It is me. And yet, it has no name. It has no pay. And it is very little known.

Sometimes, I fall into my pillow at 2 AM because someone has called with hopelessness in his or her voice. The craving for prayer knows not the hour and Amen does not have a bedtime.

Sometimes, while I make my kids lunch, I text with an introvert who can't call, but also can't reconcile why God would allow her family to crumble.

Sometimes, I spend weeks wrestling with the Lord in order to spend twenty minutes in front of a congregation, sharing what the Lord wants them to know.

Sometimes...okay many times...I spend an entire afternoon bleeding my heart out onto the keyboard as I write a book that comes from the most excruciating and rewarding season of my life. Because God said so.

And one time I had to start over. Because...God.

I draw from my ridiculously limited knowledge of scripture to teach it to others and I point others to Christ with a bruised and scarred hand. And I do it all as the most broken tool the Creator must have at his disposal.

And because of all this, I crave more and more and more time with my God. In order to overflow, I must be filled from the source. So sometimes, I will need a lamp as I study because it is still dark outside and I only have minutes until three little sets of feet come charging down the hall.

Asking for cheerios and gummy vitamins and socks and their favorite show and help finding the barbie's shoes and...and...and...

I'm just a young mom...kind of a hot, unorganized mess, trying to balance two wonderful callings.

And most days I feel completely inadequate for both. But the start for me, is to recognize that when I'm asked, what do you do, I can no longer simplify the answer to Stay-At-Home mom.

How do I answer?

You tell me. I think it will take a little more thought and maybe a whole other blog post.

How about...

I raise children and take care of my husband and home while assisting the Lord in bringing his kingdom here to earth.

Yeah...maybe some more thought...